Forgiveness

This is my cat Maggie. She has trust issues. Can you see it in her face as she hides in my pajama drawer?

I've had Maggie almost 8 years. It has taken nearly all of those 8 years to undo whatever trauma she experienced as a kitten. She's still not a lap cat by any means, but she finally enjoys being petted and is even willing to sit about 10 inches away from me on the couch.

I love this little one dearly because it took so long to help her understand that she could trust me. I worked hard for that trust. I was patient. I gave her space. I let her come to me on her own terms.

Do you think this resembles how we are with Jesus at times? He gives us every reason to trust him with wild abandon, but we still hide in the drawer all wide-eyed. We relive the rejection of others and convince ourselves that trust is not possible. We dare not stick one paw out from those comfy pjs for fear of being rejected again. But He does not reject or even disappoint in the slightest.

If you don't have those fears with trusting Jesus, do you have those fears trusting other humans again? Like my Maggie. I know I do. That's where I've been living lately - in the pajama drawer of safety from those who've wounded me deeply the past few years. I'm not really all wide-eyed though. I'm more angry-eyed with my claws ready to retaliate when provoked. We all have our defenses. Some are passive, I'm more aggressive.

Oh to embrace forgiveness and let Him heal all the wounds. To know that my trust is in Him, not them. To climb out of the drawer and begin to live in freedom again. This is my prayer. Well, no, that's a lie. I want that to be my prayer. At the moment I'm quite content in the drawer.

Can you relate?