Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Day Seventeen: Found in Being Still (my version at least)

So there are no posts for Days 13, 14, 15, and 16.
Oh well.

  • did not make the effort to go to a Wifi location
  • day 13 felt ominous for writing, I know silly superstitious non-sense
  • day 13:  went to a one-year-old's party that day actually, quite fun, full of happy young couples with cute babies though - yep, made me sad; drove home from the party crying on and off wondering when it would be "my turn" - yep, hate to admit it, but true
  • day 14:  had to let my emotions surface that day; I've kept myself "together" quite well in recent weeks (months really), but the floodgates opened, not "ugly" tears though, just needed to feel and let God hold me; also watched The Sandlot that day - fun, fun
  • day 15:  drove most of the day, lots of good time to think; yeah for day 14's events b/c this day was renewed energy and joy and sweet time in the car with my tunes
  • day 16:  reacclimating to my guest room life with my 82 year old aunt - I say that will all the love and excitement in the world for this season, truly, very fun
Biggest reason:
  • I didn't want to and it felt nice to "fail" at the 31 Days and not beat myself up about it. It is what it is.
What I've learned from this:
  • Psalm 46:10 is an awesome verse. Love love love it. "Be still and know that I am God."
  • My "being still" looks like no one else's. I'm uniquely designed in absolutely every facet of my being. He knows that. I need to know that. I'm rather outgoing and outspoken. I'm also filled to the brim:  full of emotion, full of energy, full of optimism, full of wonder, full of questions, full hope. So at times He wants me to dial it back a bit. Not because any of those things are bad, no no. I just need to "still" myself a bit. Dial back the outgoing and embrace a bit of introversion. Dial back the outspoken and speak a tad less. Dial back the emotion and simply live in the Truth, no matter how I "feel." Even in happiness - that emotion does not define me. Dial back the energy - hence me only leaving my house for about 30 minutes on Day 14. Dial back the optimism. I know that seems odd. But sometimes I just need to be sad and be ok with that. Dial back the wonder. I've stared in wonder at the Monarch's for ridiculous periods of time recently. Nothing wrong with that. But there are times when I also need to do the mundane like vacuuming up the cat hair. He's in that too. Dial back the questions - yes, that's a good one. Walk it out, that's what I said, right? Dial back the hope...hmm... seems like a strange thing to say. But I mean dial back the hope in my own flesh. Dial back the hope in circumstances and dial up the hope in Him. Be still and know.
What does your "being still" look like?


  1. I am not sure why (Maybe it is embracing "imperfection".Maybe it is acknowledging that being still is different for everyone.) but this my favorite post to date.

    God's Truth is apparent even in your moments of uncertainty.